On navigating chaos
Many of us see chaos as something that is inherently toxic, harmful, and problematic. For many of us, understandably so… Our view on- and relationsship with chaos has been formed from painful and traumatic events and upbringings. Our idea of chaos has been formed through moments and periods of life, were the consequences of chaos often meant a sense of abandonment, loneliness, and overwhelm.
Looking back at my own life, I realise that my way of coping with chaos, was to try and bring in as much stability and peace in as possible. A strategy that has meant that I have a lot of inner ressources and practices to draw from, and/but has also meant that I associate chaos with a strong need for control and structure.
I have noticed, especially over the past years, that most of us have a very charged relationsship to chaos. We either feel completely swooped up by it, unable to find our ground or a sense of direction through it. Or, we have a deep resistance towards it, often leading to perfectionism, overwork, and micro-managing taking over our lives.
Growing into my adolescence through my mid-twenties, I started to realise, that so much of what it means to be living, is actually about befriending change and chaos. That whenever there is change, there is also often some level of chaos. And that the chaos actually just means that things haven’t yet landed in their new form/shape/existence. I like to think that chaos in itself, without all of our attachments to it, is somewhat neutral, and in the end inevitable. That does not necessarily make it easier to be with, but it may help to soften the edges of our experience with it. I think about the way that mycelium networks communicate with each other, about the way that a single cell is created into a new being, about the way that the universe was created, and how it’s continually expanding, and how we as humans are constantly adopting to our changing environments. It reminds me, that when we practice the balance between surrender and grounding within a chaotic process/experience, we often come out on the other side more resilient and wiser. This is not to glorify all the moments in our life where chaos showed up in ways that were deeply painful and wounded our heart/body/spirit. But rather a gentle invitation, to remind us that we get to reshape our narrative around change and chaos. That we get to find new, creative pathways to be with chaos that entails lots of support, care, love, and whatever else we may need.
Through my many year-long practice with improvisation in dance and movement, I have learned so much about my initial response to chaos and the unknown. I have also experienced how much beauty, intimacy, and tenderness can arise from being with chaos, rather than trying to avoid it. So on this grey day here in Scandinavia, my weekend prompt to you is; what is your history and associations with chaos? What has formed those ideas? And what has helped/helps you to be with our even befriend chaos, wether it be in your own individual world or in our collective world?
