Unlearning shame and redefining self worth workshop

There are days when I wake up feeling scattered and disconnected to myself. There’s a sense of irritation mixed with stress that ties a knot in my stomach, and what frustrates me the most, is that I can’t point to or locate the cause of this experience. 

In the past, I could often override it and not feed it my attention, and eventually it would subside. But these days, it’s creeping further and further into my consciousness. It is spreading through my muscles and my fascia, creating tensions and weird muscles aches. It is calling on me to stop looking away, and instead start to call it for what it is. The only problem is, that I don’t really know if the words that I need exist. 

When I stumbled upon the phrase internalised capitalism a few years ago, something started to click within me, and a framework that could hold the vastness of this experience started to build around me. I am realizing more and more that my experience was so hard to hone in on, because of its endless complexity.

The way that I am feeling internalised capitalism is both so deeply personal to me, and it is also a weird collective weaving that is shared between so many of us. What I am learning is the importance of trying to express this experience, in whatever way comes organic to me at any given moment. 

Sometimes a stream of consciousness writing is really helpful, sometimes vigorous breath work and shaking, sometimes running and sweating my ass off, and sometimes I just need to sit in the experience, giving it space to fully be there, without judgement. 

I am noticing that the complexity especially shows up in the layers of emotions. On the surface level there may be irritation and a diffused mind, but underneath that is layers and layers of grief, of loneliness, and devastation. Recognizing all of those layers feels so important. 

Most of us however, don’t have the time, the space, and the tools to hold space for all of these experiences. And so, internalised capitalism gets to stay hidden, out of sight, out of mind, like it was intended to. Here, it can spread through our bodies and minds, like an undiagnosed virus, creating stories of judgement, shame, and harmful self-talk. 

But what happens when we instead turn to the collective root of this experience? When we name it, see it, feel it, and express it? When we start to put the puzzles together, and recognize that it was never about us or our individual “shortcomings,” but actually about a system that was not designed to support our longevity and sustainable wellbeing? 

I believe that that is when we start to disarm these internal belief sets. When we can distance ourselves from a societal framework, and begin the journey of turning to a more loving and compassionate framework. 

This is why I am so excited about my upcoming course: unlearning shame and redefining self-worth in late stage capitalism. 

I realise that 2 and a half hours is not going to create overnight changes, but I believe that it is an important beginning. 

So I hope you’ll join me for this online course, if you feel the pull within you. You can sign up via my workshop page, here at the website.